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Friday, January 11, 2019
Monday, January 7, 2019
Basic Listening Skills
Basic Listening Skills in Communication Skills
"The basic
building block of good communications is the feeling that every human being is unique and of
value."
-Author Unknown
Introduction
Good
listeners are rare these days. Studies have shown that most listeners retain less than 50% of what they hear. Imagine what that means when it comes to
a conversation that you might have with your boss, a colleague, or a customer. If you speak
for ten minutes, chances
are that you have only heard about half of that conversation
– and so have they. No wonder miscommunications happen so frequently!
Yet listening is one of the most vital skills that you need if you want to communicate effectively. Listening allows
you to ‘decode’ the messages that
you are receiving, but it also allows you to help
others communicate better. When you aren’t certain of the message that you have heard the first time, listening well allows you to ask the questions that will clarify the
message.
Of course, listening is
important in more
arenas than in the work place. We listen for multiple reasons:
®
To build relation ships
®
To understand others
®
To be entertained
®
To learn
®
To show empathy
®
To gather information
With as much as listening can do for us, it’s obvious that we can all benefit from improving our listening skills. We can become more productive at work, more connected in our relationships, and more efficient in everything that we do. But listening also helps us to persuade and negotiate with others. It can help us avoid misunderstandings and can just make life more conflict-free in general. All of these are very good reasons for learning more about how to be a better listener.
3.1.2 Self-Awareness
An important tool for becoming a good listener is becoming aware of your own behavior,
feelings, and habits when listening. Do you know whether or not you are a
good listener? Are
you only a good listener in certain situations, like when listening to a friend who is upset? Or can you also listen in a tense situation when you have to communicate with someone who
is angry, stressed, or expressing an
opposing opinion to your own?
Take time to become aware of your own listening behavior indifferent scenarios. At work, at home, with friends, with strangers, or with other groups that you
communicate with, notice the following:
·
Your body language–how are you standing or sitting? Are you tense or relaxed? In an open position or a closed one?
·
Do you make eye contact? Do you keep it? Or do you look away, look down, or turn your eyes to other people or things
in your environment?
·
Are you following every word? Could you repeat what was just said verbatim? Or is your mind wandering off to lunch, that email you need
to write, or that phone call you
just had?
·
Are you planning what you will say in return?
All of these behaviors make it difficult
to be a good listener. You may be sending the message to the speaker that their message is unimportant–or worse, that they are
unimportant. As you practice better listening skills, you’ll need to be able to recognize when you’re straying back to these old behaviors. Being self-aware
will let you self –
correct and get better and better at
listening to others.
3.1.3 Active Listening
|
"You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the sometime."
—M. Scott Peck
|
Becoming a better
listener requires improving your active listening skills. What is meant by
active listening skills?
Most of us spend at least part of the time that we are listening waiting for the
person to stop so that we
can have our next turn. This is particularly true when a conversation is heated or when the information we are trying to convey is very important.
Active listening means being as attentive and involved in the conversation
during the times that you are
listening as when you are speaking.
You must learn to be consciously attentive
to the words that are being said, but
in addition, to the whole message that the other person is attempting
to relay to you. In order
to do this you must pay close attention to the speaker.
This requires concentration and practice. It means being certain that you either
laminate or ignore the distractions surrounding
you, and that you don’t spend the whole time coming up with your response to what
they are saying. This
may sound difficult, but there are some simple tools you can use to make active listening a regular habit.
3.1.4 Becoming an Active Listener
There are five key
aspects of becoming an active listener. You will probably already be
employing some of them,
but may need to practice others. However, once you are using these tools overtime, you will find that they get easier and easier. Plus, you’ll learn so much about others and have such better conversations that you will
be positively rein forced each time you practice.
1. Pay close attention.
With this
step, you learn to give the speaker your undivided attention. But
you also let the speaker know that you are
listening by using acknowledgements–types of verbal and non-verbal tools that help add proof that you are truly listening.
ü Look the speaker in the eyes
ü Stop any
mental chatter
ü Don’t start preparing your response or
rebuttal while the other
person is talking
ü Make sure your environment doesn’t distract you
ü Notice the speaker’s body language and tone of voice–what are the non-verbal messages telling you?
ü If you are in a group, avoid side conversations
2. Demonstrate
physically that you
are listening.
Use non-verbal and verbal signals that you are listening to
the speaker attentively.
ü
Nod
from time to time, when
appropriate
ü
Use
appropriate facial expressions
ü
Monitor your own body language. Be
sure you remain open and relaxed rather than closed and tense.
ü
Use
small comments like uh-huh, yes, right.
3. Check for understanding.
As we learned in the last chapters, our personal experiences, our perceptions, and our feelings can all influence the way that we hear. It is possible for the message to get mistranslated or misinterpreted, so that we hear a message that was not
intended. Before responding, it’s important
to check for understanding
using these tools.
Ø
Use
reflecting and paraphrasing.
Check that you heard the message
correctly by saying things
like “what I hear you saying is….”
or “If I’m hearing you correctly, you’re saying…..” or “I think you’ re talking about….”.
Ø
Ask questions that will help clarify the speaker’s meaning. Suggestions include
things like, “Can you tell me more about…..? ”
or “What did you mean when you said…? ”or “I think you’re saying…is that right?”
Ø
Summarize what you’ve heard occasionally–don’t wait until the end
or you might not remember exactly what
was said.
4. Don’t interrupt!
There is nothing good that comes from interrupting the speaker. You will only be limiting your chance of
understanding the message because
you won’t hear it all–and because the speaker will get frustrated!
5. Respond Appropriately.
When you are actively listening,
you are showing your respect for the speaker,
as well as gaining the information that you need to form your response. Once you have
that information and have
clarified it, it’s time to for my reply. When expressing your thoughts:
·
Be
honest and open
·
Be respectful
·
Be thorough
Remember too that you are modeling excellent
behavior for others when
you use active listening. Don’t be surprised to hear others start to use clarifying questions or reflecting phrases as well–which would be a good thing for everyone concerned!
3.1.5 Listening in Difficult Situations
Listening is particularly difficult when you are in a heated or emotionally charged situation. In
order for your
communication to be successful and
productive, you may need to employ some additional
tools in order to listen
to others and to allow for the exchange of information despite your feelings.
Some tips include:
Ø
If
possible, suggest that you move the
discussion to a private location with
no distractions.
Ø
If tension is high, start by agreeing on what your goal of the discussion will be. Are you resolving a problem? Learning
about what happened in a
difficult situation? Deciding roles in an important project? Determining how to proceed in order to reach a deadline? Come up with a common go alt hat you can
both agree to work towards and that you can both refer back to should the conversation go off-topic.
Ø
If
you need to, set ground rules. These could include agreeing
that you won’t bring uphold events again, that you will keep personal comments out of the discussion, or that you will both keep your voices down.
Ø
While
listening, remind yourself of the active listening guidelines. Breathe slowly in and out in order to remain calm.
Ø
If you can’t seem to pay attention, try repeating to yourself in your mind every word that the
other person says. Then you are ‘hearing’ the message twice and it
has a better chance of getting through.
What is Physical Communication?
What is Physical Communication?
Although
it is less used
in a business scenario, there is one
last element of communication that all of us use
on a regular basis–physical communication. At work you might
use it some–top at someone on the back or to give them as
light tap on the shoulder to
get their attention. When it is
used, it is more effective than
verbal communication.
To clarify this point, imagine doing the exercise
on the shapes in the last section,
but this time, instead of words,
you are able to put your hand over the hand of the person doing the drawing and direct the motion of their pen
physically. You will end up with
something much closer to the actual
picture than by verbal instruction alone.
Verbal Communication
Verbal
Communication
Verbal communication takes place directly between
the superiors and juniors in organizations and between farmers and extension
functionaries in the field and is often known as face to face communication. It
takes the form of talks, a public address, verbal discussions, telephonic
talks, telecommunications and other artificial media, such as audio-visual aids
speeches and orders, holdings of meetings and conferences, lectures, social
get-togethers, training sessions, public address systems, museums, exhibitions,
counseling etc.
Verbal communication enjoys certain merits
i.
It is the least time consuming, is more direct,
simple and the least expensive.
ii.
It is more communicative and effective and
aids in avoiding delays, red-tape and formalities.
iii. It generates a friendly and co-operative
spirit.
iv. It provides an immediate feedback, as
questions can be put and answers obtained about the information transmitted
v.
Every information cannot be put into
writing, most of it is conveyed by means of oral instructions, mutual
discussions and telephonic conversations.
However, verbal
communication has certain demerits. These are:
Ø Lengthy,
distant and important information cannot be effectively conveyed verbally
Ø Verbal
talks may often be distorted if there is some cause of indifference between the
receiver and the sender.
Ø It
is inadequate where permanency and uniformity of form are required.
Ø Due
to various communication gaps, as a result of status and other physical or
personal barriers communication is incomplete.
Ø Spontaneous
responses may not be carefully thought.
Ø The
spoken words can be more easily misunderstood than the written words.
Ø It
presupposes expertise in the art of effective speaking.
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